The Arrival.

In January 2013 I was commissioned by Tamasha Theatre to run writing workshops and write a creative response to their production of Shaun Tan's The Arrival. 

The Arrival.

Here.

I am here.

Here I am.

Here is the space that I occupy.

I occupy this space.

Home.

My home is.

I am.

Home is....

When I can't go to the places I used to go to,

do the things I used to do,

eat what I used to eat,

I feel as though I'm not the same person any more.

I don't know this person

who can't read or write or speak to strangers,

who can't read labels on tins of food

or exchange money for goods.

Here.

I am here.

Here is the space that I occupy.

Here is.

Home is....

I am busy all the time with my baby.

When I think about my home I am sad.

When I think about my parents I cry.

When I am with my family I am happy.

The sun isn't warm.

The sky is a different sky, this is not my sky.

This silver-white

now mango and pretty-peach

now terracotta with fat red wine clouds

now blue charcoal shot through with pewter and gold

now light falling between clouds like arrows.

I watch the strange new sky change

And I think;

“Everything is so alien I can hardly believe that my lungs can breathe the air.”

I occupy this space.

Space is not home.

Home is not space or place.

Home is not feet planted in this earth or that.

Home is not a bed in a room in a house where I don't know how to prepare a meal or a hot drink or how to read a newspaper.

Home is in a suitcase with you.

Home is suspended in my heart's continent.

Not occupied but remembered. Relived. Replayed. Steps retraced.

I am here.

Here I am.

Here is the space that I occupy.

I occupy this space.

I have to cross the gateway to.

To....

I don't understand the sounds or the signs or the symbols.

I don't understand the food or the music.

I don't understand the hushed women or the loud boys.

I know where I am and I'm lost and I can't get back.

It's just me alone in my head.

You're here too.

I will take you everywhere by bus or boat or balloon.

He said don't worry, don't be scared, I'll show you.

I'll never forget that.

I was ashamed, embarrassed.

I don't recognize the person I used to be.

But now

much later

I start to see who I am now.

I am beginning to grow back like a seed, or a lost limb.

I have crossed the gateway now to what is from what was.

I feel that the world is here, now I don't care, wherever I am is where I belong. I think I belong everywhere.

I think I belong here. I am here. I am here and I have.

Arrived.